My sweet ladyfriend recently introduced me to the fabulous Tinynibbles website run by Violet Blue who is described as
...the foremost expert in the field of sex and technology, a sex-positive pundit in mainstream media (MacLife, Forbes.com)
The question was provoked by the fact that her 'sex positive url shortener', vb.ly was recently seized by the Libyan Government because the words 'sex positive' and an image of her showing her arms and drinking a beer were deemed to be illegal.
If you are interested in this story you should check out her posts on the issue found here, and here.
I started out writing a reply to her post, but a few paragraphs later I thought I may as well blog about it. Like, it's no secret that I could talk about this shit all day with a whiskey in one hand, a spliff in the other, sitting in my shiny skin-tight leggings. Correction, my lesbian lover's leggings. Soz Libya.
OK, so, I am a Sex Positive Feminist. I add 'feminist' to the title because I believe many of the causes addressed in sex positivity cover the rights of women and rights to sexual autonomy. Within this identity I believe in thorough sex education for people of all ages, cultures, backgrounds, sexualities, and genders. Many see sex and sexuality as a source of shame, and knowledge is fundamental in breaking that cycle. Libya has put it's hand up to represent on this occasion. I won't comment too much on Libya specifically, as I feel I don't know enough about the country to think I have any right to criticise. Perhaps once I've read up on it a bit more I'll share some insight. Right now I'll stick with the assumption that their Government and I probably wouldn't be BFFs.
There are people in my generation who still think that masturbation is a sin and that it causes hideous physical dysmorphia or other bizarre things like short term memory loss. Commenter, seektofind2 on ehealthforum is under the impression that masturbation is the cause of his struggles with college work, and he has heard around the block that masturbation and exercise is a really bad combination.
This poor dude has been jacking off for seven to eight years under the covers, in the dark, scorning himself for this supposed damage this 'addiction' is causing him...probably a few times a week. I find it really heart breaking thinking about the parent(s) that taught their child to hate himself for finding pleasure from his own body.These sorts of cases should be the drive behind a need for standardised sex education. The world has enough deserved guilt, we shouldn't be sitting idly by as sex gets thrown on the bonfire as well.
A side thought; a few years ago would have looked at this post, had a laugh and made some ridiculing comment about his oppression to my friends because when you're the object of somebody's scorn (such as fundamentalists in regards to sex, sexuality and lifestyle) you can either laugh or you can cry. A few years on I am trying to take a different perspective, and rather than dismissing the anxiety a religion has caused, I am trying to reply to posts like this in hope that something gets through without belitting them because I do not agree with their beliefs. I guess it is just one of the small ways we can contribute to a sex positive society. One post could cause a small domino effect in some secluded sad town robbed of some good remorseless wanking. Thank you, Internet.
As many have commented on the Tinynibbles website, sex is a great source of healing. Religion is so ironic sometimes. Sex and orgasm can do so many amazing things for your general well-being and physical health. It should be regarded as a practice for better health along activities like yoga, massage, meditation, exercise, counselling, tai chi, falun gong, prayer, a bath, a holiday etc. Annie Sprinkle's '101 Uses for Sex' is a good read if you want some inspiration for your next masty.
This amazing photo is from Annie's Sprinkle's website.
A study conducted on 918 men aged between 45-59 between 1979 and 1983 in South Wales by George Davey Smith, Professor of Clinical Epidemiology found,
"Mortality risk was 50% lower in the group with the high orgasmic frequency than in the group with low orgasmic frequency, with evidence of a dose-response relation across the groups."
And an article by Forbes covers some of the research done on sex and orgasm and their findings which include having sex several times a week results in an improved sense of smell, reduced risk of heart disease, overall fitness, reduced depression, release of oxytocin which releases endorphins which in turn alleviate pain, and it makes your prostate happy. These are only a few of the benefits. OR alternatively, if you get shit faced on cheap bourbon in town on a Saturday at the local gay bar and on your stumble home you manage to down six Big Macs in one sitting, 'British researchers have determined that the equivalent of six Big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for year'. I don't know why I'm telling you this, it's kind of depressing and I love Big Macs, not that I could ever fathom inhaling six at once.
Sex education is pretty broad but in my ideal world it encompasses;
-The positives of masturbation from an early age.
-Physiology, and biology that includes the functions of sexual pleasure.
-Rewording of women's sexual organs to encompass the clitoris and correct term, vulva.
-Up to date information on sexually transmitted diseases.
-The variety of sexualities and genders.
-Sexual lifestyles and choices.
-Sources of accessible and cheap varieties of contraception.
-Sex worker rights and the current laws.
-Religion and sexual practices.
-Consent.
-Respect for oneself and others.
-Pornography, including the debates for and against it.
Sex Positivity encourages pornography that reflects positive and realistic sexual encounters with consenting adults. More on this on my last post. And it argues that everyone has the right to be sexual and safe at that. I also find many of my commerades in the Sex Positive movement float around in circles that address the hideous issue of slut shaming and/or support and write fantastic blogs on the Fat Acceptance movement.
Created by Susan Surface
For more info on Fat Acceptance, head over to Iamoffendedbecause and check out some posts like this one, that also has links to other great bloggers such as Definatalie.
Sex Positivity negates slut shaming, body shaming, and other social practices that demean the sexual rights of another. People aren't born with prejudices, sneering at a high sexual appetite or the shape of someone's body is a product of self inflicted shame, when really...
And my body wants a Big Mac and a pash.
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